Just as the prodigal son returned home upon realizing the need to, so have I decided to come back home- to writing after almost 8 years of scramming.
It took me a lot of strength and courage to be back and I’m even still wondering if I still got this, or if I’d eventually go back to ‘sleep’ this time around again if confronted with writer’s block, if I’d be consistent with my style, if I can carve a niche for myself in this saturated space and put out original content and of course attract new readers etc.
I’ve always wanted to get back on here but fear held me back. Like I said earlier, I didn’t have the courage and I feared I’d fail at it again. During these tough times, I realized I couldn’t even put together a simple, one page document. This freaked me out and I knew that was the the end for me because writing has been a part of me since childhood- writing essays, lying my way through (imagining and sharing made up stories) and of course getting high scores for my made up stories *wink* so I knew this was my thing and this heavily influenced my choice of courses I read at the secondary school level right to tertiary.
So waking up one day and not being able to even draft a one page document, let alone scribble anything was heart breaking and devastating. This happened as far back as my level 200 days thus, 2014/2015 there about. It continued into my completion, my youth service days, job hunting days, after securing a job, getting married, welcoming my first child- and oh, she turns one today. Recounting this has made me realize how long it’s been since I last visited my blog.
A huge part of me was willing but my mind was in fragments and as much as I tried to put my thoughts together, it was simply impossible and I became down trodden hearted, I mounted a lot of pressure on me to pick up (I guess that’s what made it harder) hence, my hiatus.
A few days ago, my mind wandered and I questioned why I’ve not given blogging/ writing a shot again. So as usual, I dragged my feet and procrastinated. “Ohhh, let me rethink this, what will I be creating content on or writing about, blah blah blah”. Then I set up a challenge by giving myself a deadline thus; to get the blog up and running by my daughter’s first. (I’m Still trying to ‘speck’ it)
So Tada!!!!! I guess this is what being back feels
🥂
